I have spent countless hours on the back of a horse, covering thousands of miles, some recorded in perpetuity and some only recorded in my memory. What I have learned from all of these hours and miles with the noblest of creatures are the following in no particular order:
Patience
Trusting the process
Cultivating a good sense of humor
Showing up
Daily maintenance
Getting back in the saddle
Being present
Taking the time to slow down
Learning to endure the good with the bad
Identifying the needs of the individual
Self-love
Self-care
Ultimately, we ride alone
As the saying goes "Rome was not built in a day" and neither was an educated rider or horse. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, to be patient is to bear pains or trials calmly or without complaint, as well as being steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity. At mile 40 on my first 100-mile ride, at no fault of my own or the horse, I was thrown through the air, making what was referenced as "the best tuck and roll I have ever seen" by a fellow rider. I gathered myself up, got back on my horse, and went on to complete the full 100 miles finishing 11th out of 44 riders at a big international competition. It would have been easy to stop and complain about how my shoulder hurt, how my neck hurt, how I have no idea how I survived that fall considering I came down from about 15 feet going about 20 miles an hour. Complaining is easy. Finding sunshine through the dark rain clouds can be difficult. At mile 90, I was ready to quit. I was ready to call it a day and tuck my proverbial tail between my legs and explain to everyone that I was too tired and hurt to continue. My dad on the other hand met me out on that dark night, providing encouragement and energy to get back on and finish strong. I hardly remember those last 10 miles. Half-asleep in a dream state with the moonlight lighting our way, my horse picked up a canter and carried us both safely across the finish line 45 minutes later.
Showing up day in and day out, doing the small things is what leads to success, whether professionally or recreationally. Some of the best riders I know have no desire to be competitive but rather simply enjoy being with the horse. As I have gotten older, I realize I am becoming one of those riders. When I was younger, I had big dreams and big goals. Some came to fruition, some I accomplished, and others dissipated into the ether. What I have learned to love is not the thrill of competition but the day to day interactions that build success. Going out every day to work with a horse that gives you the side-eye because somewhere in their past they haven't been treated with consistent kindness and respect, I love. Earning that trust, building upon positive interactions, I have learned I have a knack and a skill for creating a trusting relationship. It's not really anything I can explain other than show up and be consistent. By that I mean if a horse doesn't like to have their legs or feet messed with, make a point of messing with their legs and feet every day. Not to be annoying but in the hope that eventually the horse will give their feet willingly without restraint and without stickiness.
It takes time for that consistency to carry over from one day to the next and that requires tenacious stubbornness and patience in trusting the process will eventually work. What I have also learned is that at times it is necessary to take a break, take a deep breath, step back, and possibly walk away. That break may be a few minutes, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade, whatever it takes, sometimes it is necessary to do just that in order to gain clarity and perspective. Recently I found myself back in the saddle after a longer than anticipated hiatus and guess what, I still got it. I still have the skills, the intuition, the balance, and the heart to show up and be present.
A person doesn't just go out and ride 100 miles and be competitive. It takes years of accumulated knowledge and an understanding of the needs of both the rider and the horse, who happen to both be individuals. I show up every day on my yoga mat knowing it will serve me when I get back on a horse, when I am underneath a horse working on their feet, or when I am on the ground assessing the needs of a horse.
My 100-mile horse died in a fashion I never anticipated and it broke my heart I was unable to be there when he died. The connection that horse and I shared was unlike any other I have ever experienced, probably because he was a bottle-baby and never really viewed himself as a horse. Bottle-babies are the worst by the way. They are dangerous, pushy, and if you don't know what you are doing, find someone who does otherwise you may find yourself 6 feet under without knowing or understanding why.
The first endurance ride I took that horse to he bucked the first 10 miles. A lady was having a lot of trouble getting back on her horse after getting off for who knows why and I stopped, got off, held her horse, and somehow managed to get back on my fire-breathing dragon. Coming into the first vet check dead last my dad was not impressed, however, when I told him about the bucking and the assisting, his disappointment faded quickly. Knowing the condition my horse was in and that he had some of the best pulse recovery times I had experienced, we made up 4 places in that one vet check and made up 8 more places throughout the ride, finishing 11th.
The 100-mile ride was the last ride I competed in. After we finished, there were women I had ridden and trained with that were catty, jealous, and just plain rude. I have zero patience and no time for that kind of pettiness. If it isn't in your constitution to be happy for and possibly learn from another, well, get the f*ck out of the way because from experience and observation, you will continue to ride at the bottom of the pack with ill-prepared horses and a shitty attitude. I will ride on with a giggle and watch you fade away in my dust, hateful bitches.
I may or may not find myself riding in another endurance ride. I find myself drawn more to volunteering and helping people along the way. No amount of gadgets, gizmos, expensive gear, or expensive horses are going to ensure a person completes a 100-mile ride. Methodical preparation, self-knowledge, and a dash of luck on the other hand may just get you across the finish line. I have been on rides where I lost every single shoe on my horse and had to wait for the farrier to tack some shoes back on, costing hours I could have been on the trail. It's not possible to prepare for all of the uncertainties that go along with having not one but two athletes competing as a team. I have fallen off, had my hand stepped on, and still gotten back in the saddle and finished. Having a coach is great but ultimately, we ride alone on the trail and in life. There will be times when people and horses come into your life but it is for a reason, a season, or a life-time, but never entirely. I have beaten myself up over the death of horses, thinking I could have or should have done something different. I have beaten myself up over the loss of relationships, again thinking there were things I could have or should have done differently. The reality is there is nothing that could have stopped the inevitable and that requires acceptance and a healthy dose of self-love and self-care.
I have also learned when it is necessary to walk away. A person can only endure so much. It may take time but eventually there will be a straw that breaks the camels back. Not having a horse in my life for the past two and a half years has been about all I can endure. Self-reliance runs in my bones. If something isn't present in my life that I want, I have always found a way to obtain it. If there hasn't been support because of someone else's idea of what I should be spending my time or money on, I have had no problem cutting the cord and letting those people loose with their own negative emotions and thoughts to wallow in. If I have felt controlled by another, I have cut the ties that bind to regain my own destiny. I have always been a woman of action and that can frighten people, but, c'est la vie. There's a reason I live in the 21st century in a time when women have the right to their own bank accounts, property, and self-determination. And that reason is not to sit around and be a bitch for someone else's ego.
Who knows, I may find myself following a flagged trail for miles on end, seeing mustangs in the distance, or looking for glow sticks on a moonlit night to lead my way again. But what I enjoy the most is the daily maintenance and the daily routines of showing up and caring for what I love most.
Endurance and horses have taught me when and how to endure and also, when to let go.
Cysco and I at the Wyoming Wild Horse Challenge, Day 2
#Endurance #EnduranceRiding #EnduranceRacing #Horses #SelfLove #SelfCare #Humor #SelfReliance #Trust #Yoga #DailyMaintenance #BackInTheSaddle
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